Give me your Forever, not a day less will do!

Last night one of my friends told me about her friend from high school who, while riding his bike on Valentine's Day, was hit by a car and died. He had been married for not even 2 years. We looked up his wife on Facebook and my heart just broke looking at pictures of this cute young couple in love. My heart goes out to his wife and what she must be going through right now! I keep thinking about her today and this has got me thinking about what's important in this life and also the afterlife. I started thinking about how I would be reacting if it were me in her place, and I remembered something...

When John and I were first married, I was a little bit crazy. Okay a lotta bit crazy. I was SO happy to have found him, the love of my life, I could feel my love for him BURSTING out of my body and it was awesome. But also SCARY. Now that I had him I was so AFRAID of losing him! I started thinking about what I would do if I ever lost him, if he ever was in a car accident or something and was taken away from me. That's when my crazy would kick in... I'd sit there BALLING my guts out almost any time I was home alone without him. What if he never made it home??! I would think about how I wouldn't be able to breathe, I wouldn't be able to function, I wouldn't be able to get rid of ANY of his stuff, I would NEVER marry again, etc. It got so bad that I would cry and hug him so tight almost every time he left the house!! I KNEW that I was being ridiculous, but I didn't know how to stop it. I didn't know how to get rid of this fear!

See? I told you- CRAZY PERSON.

(I think the birth control I was on at the time also played a part in adding to my emotions running high.....yeah.....eeek!! ha!)

Anyway, I knew I needed to start acting like a normal human being and knock all this crying stuff off, so I started praying for help. I prayed to Heavenly Father to HELP me calm down. To help me have faith, not fear. To stop crying over losing something that I hadn't lost! To be HAPPY that I HAVE my sweet love in my life and not worry about losing him! I started calming down a little bit more (and I changed birth controls! lol) but I still had these freak outs every once in a while.

A couple months later John and I went to do a session at the Oakland, CA temple. We were asked to be the witness couple, which meant we were the first people in the Celestial room. John went through first and was saving a spot for me on a couch. When I walked into the room and saw him sitting there waiting for me, tapping the seat next to him with a big grin on his face I stopped in my tracks. I had this warming, calming feeling come over me. As I looked at my sweet husband waiting for me in this beautiful room I heard these thoughts run through me...

"He is yours no matter what...you are sealed together forever....it doesn't matter if he dies before you here in this life...he will always be waiting for you to be next to him....you will always have him...."

I started crying, AGAIN, and went over to my baby. He asked what I was thinking about and I told him, smiling through my tears, "I'm not going to be afraid anymore!" He laughed and pulled me close, "Good!" he said as he kissed my forehead. I hugged him tight and felt HAPPINESS.

After that day my crazy thoughts and breakdowns about losing him stopped. It was so great! (Of course, if he's over an hour late coming home from class late at night and I haven't heard from him then that's something different entirely!! Bring on the waterworks! haha!) But seriously, I love the peace that the temple can bring to you, I love the answers to prayers and change of heart you can receive there. I love the peace that this gospel can give to you. I honestly don't know if I would have as much peace as I do now without this church and the knowledge and eternal perspective it blesses us with!

I am glad that (now) widow and her sweet husband were sealed together in the temple and will be reunited together in heaven. I'm glad that my sweet love and I too, were sealed and bound together throughout all time in the temple, and not just "until death do us part." That's not good enough for me! I don't want to part at death! And I'm so happy we won't have to.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go hug my love a little tighter today.